Eating my feelings or Why I will never be a cop.

So again a big gap since when I have posted last.  It's been a very busy 1.5 weeks with some big highs and even bigger lows....well just one HUGE low.  Last week when I didn't blog I gained a pound.  I missed days at the gym and didn't eat very well.  I was surprised it was just a pound.  This week the gym and eating have been even worse. Since I am being negative Ill state with my shitty ass news.

So most of you know that I am in school and trying to get my bachelors in nursing.  I had planned on applying next semester to start school in the Spring of 2012.  I went to talk to an advisor just to make sure that I had all the classes I needed and to make sure that I was competitive.  I'll digress here for a minute, the College of Nursing (CON) looks primarily at two things, your overall GPA and your science GPA.  They take each score and combine them to give you a combined GPA.  Then they take the top 48 people.  That's it. No waiting list, no appeals, nothing.  You either get in or you don't.  The reason I bring this up is because when I went in to see where my standing was and to see if applying would be worthwhile, I was pretty much told it would be a waste of my time.  Even though I have worked pretty hard for my current GPA of 3.5 and my science GPA of 3.5, the ONE semester that I took at then TVI, 12 years ago fucks me.  I got two B's, a D, and an F.  With those classes in my GPA it pulls it down to a 3.0.  I went from being very competitive to not even in the race.  I fought and fought with the advisor and tried to work things out but she said short of me retaking the classes at CNM and getting a grade replacement if they do that like UNM does, I shouldn't even waste my time.  Even the fact that I took both classes at UNM and got an A+ and an A-, they don't care.  So I went to CNM to see if they did grade replacements, and they do but it works different than UNM's.  On UNM's transcripts you see that you took the class more than once but you only see the highest grade.  On CNM's transcripts they show both classes and both grades, but they only factor the higher grade.  So the D and the F are still on my transcript.  I returned to the advisor and explained how they did it at CNM, she said she didn't know if it would work, but it would be worth a try.  So long story short, the last two years that I've gone to school seem pretty worthless.  I'm at a loss at what to do.  I could apply for the nursing program at CNM and I would only have to take one more class to get in, but unlike UNM you have to have completed all of the pre-reqs before you can apply.  Well the cutoff date for applying would be before I finish the one class. The earliest I could apply would be for the Spring of 2012.  It's a full two year program and I would only get my associates.  With this shitty ass news, I have been eating my feelings and not going to the gym....FUCK MY LIFE!

So onto something a little lighter, and hopefully funnier.  The story you are about to read is true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent and co-conspirators...but it is a story that will show you why I will never be a police officer. 

Last October my friend "Patti Stanger", my friend "Derek Saathoff", (I'll wait why you google them...if you know who these people are and who my friends are you will know why I gave them these code names) and I were talking about going to see the smash Broadway musical "Wicked".  We purchased tickets and eagerly awaited February to see the show.  The big day finally arrived and we had decided to eat a fancy meal before the show.  We had such a great time at dinner catching up with old friends that when we finally finished we were running late.  We decided that our other friend "Santana Lopez" would ride with us and I would drive.  As usual I was trying to drive like a bat out of hell and threw my car into reverse and slammed on the gas.  As I shot out of the parking space I realized I was hurtling towards a marked police car.  With only a few seconds to spare I slammed down on my brakes with both feet, as if by using both feet I would slow down faster.  The car jerked to a stop...either because the pressure of the of the brakes or the impact of my car against the police car.  I pulled forward and at the urging of my passengers I got out to inspect the damage.  It was on a dark street with no lighting so when I got out I couldn't see much.  I got close to the police car, but I couldn't see anything and likewise with my car.  I started to head back to my car and saw a police officer running towards his car.  Instead of doing what I should have done and gotten out to speak to the officer I sped off like the devil himself was chasing me.  Now the innocent thing I should have done is I should have taken major streets in case I did hit the car I would have been easy to find.  But noooo I decided I would take sidestreets. 

We made it to the show with just barely enough time to use the restroom and find out seats.  Did I actually hit the cop car?  Who knows?  Who cares?  All I know is that I will delete this posting if I'm ever asked, and I know that my passengers will never say a word, because at this point they are accomplices to a hit-and-run accident as well as assault on a police officer, and maybe even harboring a fugitive since they were at the scene of the crime, rode with me to another location, and still have not said a word.  At any rate, they are as guilty as I am!

Update

Hey, sorry it has been a while since I have posted.  This past week, even though I was off school for four out of five days, was extremely busy.  I'm still super busy but I finished taking a test and I was the first out of 150 to finish.  It took me 13 minutes to do a 50 question multiple choice test.  So either I did really really well or really really poorly.

I missed a few days at the gym but I'm proud to say that I lost 4lbs this week, bringing my total loss to 25lbs.  The professor is calling us all back to class so I shall be going.  I'll try to update more this week.

Please spell telephone...

So I titled this blog "Please spell telephone" because with this week’s weight loss it brings me back to where I was at last year when I was in the musical "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee".  So the grand total weight loss for January is 21lbs.  I know that if I can keep on it this month I will lose even more weight.  My goal for two months was 55lbs.  I don't think that I will get there, but I bet I will be down 45lbs by the end of February.

Also I've decided to stop weighing myself at the gym.  The last two weeks I've gone to weigh myself, the scale at the gym was showing a pound or two already on the scale when no one was on it.  I decided that I couldn’t trust its accuracy. 

Gay Compliment

So this week has been a little trying.  School is kicking my butt!  I don't know if I have let you all know, but I am taking 18 credit hours and working 40+ hours a week.  Granted they are all lower level classes and the work is mostly busy work, but it's hard to keep up with it all.  I was only able to get to the gym three times this week.  I'm hoping that I can get back on track. 

I've decided that one feature of the blog will be to help my straight readers understand Gay culture.  Just like the culture of Immigrants, Gay culture is steeped in tradition and history.  However, our history really starts with the Stonewall Riots of 1969.  These events are credited with the start of the gay rights movement.  Anywho I will not really be giving a history lesson, I just wanted you all to know that we take pride in where we have come from and what we have overcome. 

One thing that our community has perfected over the years is called the "gay compliment" or "GC".  A GC is defined as: a backhanded or barbed compliment. An insult usually about one's physical apperance disguised as a compliment.  I stress physical apperance because the gays are very superficial, so we have perfected the art of dissing someone in public, to their face and in front of their friends, without causing a scene. 
Examples of a GC:
"Wow those jeans make you look so skinny."
"Back in high school I never thought you would look this hot."

Or the one that someone told me, and the reason I'm bringing this all up:
"You are actually a really handsome dude. If you lost a few pounds you wouldn’t be able to keep the dudes away. Myself included."

So I should have told this guy to fuck off, sad thing though is that most gays are programmed to accept the compliment part and then work on the insult to get the approval of this person.  All I can say is I have the mindset now that I am a handsome guy, and when I lose the weight and I'm even hotter, this guy can fuck off then.  I'm doing it for myself, not some hot guy. 

How to almost flip an eliptical...

So its been a while since my last blog.  Something about taking 18 credit hours and working 40+ hours a week will keep you kind of busy!  So far so good though.  I love all my classes except philosophy.  My brain just doesn't think that way.  And I hate how everything I say and defend my professor says that it's close to the message the author was trying to convey, but not quite. 

On another note, my classic studies professor, Dr. Monica Cyrino is amazingly CRAZY!!!  She starts off the first class with telling us there is going to be a lot of fucks and bitches dropped in her lectures and if we don't like it, there's the fucking door.  She does an amazing Miley Cyrus impersonation, and she loves Prada!  I can tell that I'm going to love that class.

My updated weight this week is 330lbs.  So in a total of three weeks, I've dropped 14lbs.  Not too shabby.  I know that it didn't come on over night and it wont get lost over night.  Today, I had a tragic accident at the gym.  I took off early so I could go workout since I missed my morning gym time.  I was happily trucking along on the eliptical when I decided to changed the direction of movement.  As soon as I did my right leg cramped up.  It felt like the devil was ripping my gastrocnemius off the bone and wadding it up.  I stepped down on that leg inadvertently and this caused my body to spring to the other side.  This rapid movement of my massive weight caused a shift in gravity around me and forced the eliptical on two of its legs.  It looked like I was driving it like a bat out of hell and had just robbed a bank and was speeding away from the cops, taking the corner on two wheels.  Luckily I was able to use my mutant power of retard strength to hold me upright and the machine righted itself.  Needless to say this caused quite a noise.  Once I noticed every eye in the gym was on me, I wiped the machine down and hobbeled out of there.  I don't plan on going back at night anytime soon. 

Hey boy I really wanna see....

That has to be the theme song to my gaycation to Denver this past week.  Driving in the car with my sister Kayla over the course of 5 days we heard that song about 7,000 times...well really more like 20, but I still feel that if I had a flaming red weave and Rihanna was sick, I could perform that song. 

Overall, I think that the trip was a success.  I had a great time visiting my parents in Loveland and seeing their amazing new home.  I got to spend quality time with my sister, and even got tranny drunk with her.  So drunk that I almost invited someone from Grindr back to her house.  HEY!!  Don't judge.  People ask me why I don't drink, this is just one reason.  I also got to see my Aunt Kitty and meet my Uncle Dave for the first time.  It's been 10 years since I've seen her and she is only up in Denver...there is no reason why I should wait that long.  Another success was that I got to spend time with my two friends Avi and Heather. 

Sad new though, I weighed myself today at home and I gained a pound.  Not so bad considering I drank a lot and I didn't eat that good....not horrible, but I could have made better choices.  I'm back home now and school started so I'm back on schedule and I hope I can lose weight this week.

During the few days in Denver, several people said they missed my rules for life.  So in honor of traveling and going back to school I have two new ones.

Ryan's Rules for Life #111 - While traveling, well at any time other then lounging in your home, men+sweatpants is never an acceptable outfit.  I saw this in line at DIA and of the five men that I saw, I was able to see what political party they were affiliated with by the side they hung on.  On another note, if you don't want people staring at your junk strap it down or don't wear sweatpants in public.

Ryan's Rules for Life #507 - Just like there is a baggage limit on an airplane, there should be a baggage limit in a lecture class.  Women should not feel it's ok to bring their backpack, purse, yoga pad, and gym bag with them and then sit in a row that the seats are packed in closer than airplane seats.  If you feel that it is ok to limit my movement in the row, I will feel it's ok to step on all your shit.

Leaving on a jet plane....

So I wanted to post before I hopped on my plane to Denver today.  I wanted anyone who is following me to know that in eight days I've lost 11lbs.  Not too shabby for my first week.  Even though I'm going to Denver I will still be going to the gym and eating right.  Thank you to everyone who sent me tips on going on vacay and still eating right!  I'll see you all Sunday when I get back. 

In Progress...

So I haven't really updated the blog because I haven't had anything exciting to tell you.  So I think I'll just give a quick update and some minor things that have occurred and then respond to your comments.

It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.  I think working at night makes it easier because I can't get up and go for fast food whenever I want.  And I come home pretty tired so I tend to come home and fall asleep.  I'll get up around 9:00 and head to the gym for a few hours.  So far it's been 6 days in a row at the gym.  Some days I've felt like I wanted to throw up from working out, but *knock on wood* I haven't...yet. 

Although, one day I was running on the treadmill next to this old bag that looked like she was 163 years old.  When I first got on the treadmill I smelled a faint odor that I'm sure at full power would have smelled similar to rotting pig flesh covered in Roquefort cheese.  Boy was I wrong!  After about 30 minutes of walking/running on the treadmill I was knocked back by a wall of odor that, if bottled could be used as chemical warfare.  Again, I'm assuming these items combined would make this scent, but it smelled like burnt hair, dog poop, and Indian food that had been pureed and poured down the sweaty ass crack of a sumo wrestler.  To top it off, everyone else around us when I had first started was gone so it was me and the old lady, so I knew it had to be her.  What made matters even worse is that she gave me the look of death after she dropped her shit bomb and then left.  The cherry on this pie is that shortly after she left, a very attractive silver fox got on the treadmill next to me.  He moved even before he started.  Thank God I have not seen him since. 

I'm nervous about this week.  I leave for Denver on Wednesday and I know that I'll be eating out.  Anyone have any tips on eating healthy when on vacation and eating out??

Now to your comments:
Karissa~ Thanks!  Just your support.  And I know that I've put myself on exile but text me and let’s keep in touch.  Maybe a movie night?  Something fun but not out in public.
Cleo~I so cannot wait to go hiking!  I've always wanted to but I don't know any cool places to go.  Also, I'm still waiting for your friend to call me with her "problem" ;)
Vonnie~Maybe once I get in better shape we can go running?  Do you have any tips on increasing endurance?
Michelle~Girl we need to work out together!  I've been going to San Mateo about 9-930, but school starts next week and I know my schedule will change.  I'm off on Sat/Sun, maybe we can go once a week together?
Matt~I had a goal to work towards and in the past I never did.  I guess working out for my health should have been my goal, but I think if I have a goal I can see, that will make it easier to achieve.  There is an event I'm going to in March, and I want to have dropped my 50lbs by then.  Hopefully more!  Due to school my gym schedule is going to change.  When I know what it will be I'll let you know.  If anything, maybe we could do Sundays before family dinner?
Jules~Thanks!  It helps to have another RED NATION member cheering me on.  And even though we aren't on the same shift anymore, you are still my work wife.  I look at it as we had to work opposite shifts for daycare reasons.  ;)
Courtney~ My legs feel like they are on fire!  I would much rather hack them off with a plastic knife then have this pain.  I do know that it's only temporary so I will try to muster the strength to fight through it.  Thanks for checking up on me!

That's all for now.  My weigh in days will be Wednesday's so make sure to check back then for my updated weight.

Day 1

So I thought I should probably write something today since it was the first real day of my adventure.  I had a pretty good day with mostly wins, but I did have one big loss.

I'll start with the loss:

I had weighed myself at home and the scale there under much stress squeeked out a quiet 345lbs, well 344.8lbs but close enough.   I decided that I would weigh myself at the gym because I figured their scale could be another reference point.  Sad day!  It said I weighed 349lbs.  :(   For now I'll have two weights on my profile.  The first being my home scale and the second being the gym scale.  Ill update it every Wednesday.

Now the wins:

I went to the gym!  That has to account for something right?  Even more, I kind of overdid it and spent 65min on the bike and 45min the elliptical.  I felt like crap the first few hours at work tonight.

Second, it looked like half of APD's SWAT was in the locker room when I got there.  Not that I leered or anything, I swear I didn't!  I didn't even change in the locker room, just saying that had I taken a gander it would have been a lovely sight. 

The Beginning

So my countdown...this is what it was counting down, my departure from Facebook, at least a temporary departure.  I had originally thought about cancelling it because I spent far too much time worrying about the gossip I could get, the hotties I could stalk...meet, or how much money my mafia was making.  I spent so many valuable hours on those trivial things that I lost time for important things.  Things like studying, going to the gym, face to face meetings with my friends.  I was living my life through Facebook.

So one day I was taking a small break from FB when I came across an article about a man who created a blog about his journey to be healthy.  He thought that if he could lose any weight that would be a win for him.  In the end he lost over a hundred pounds.  I know results vary by person, but I thought if I lay it all out there, if I let people know what I'm doing I will become accountable for my success.  I will have people asking me how my day has been and what choices I've made.  I will create a support team for myself, at least those few of you who are following me and my day to day rants, successes, and failures.  On top of this I'll be shamed into making better choices because my business will be out there. 

Will I succeed?  I don't know.  But I know that I need to do this for myself.  I think how can I be involved in a healthcare position and be totally unhealthy.  Do I expect to have the body of a Spartan?  HA!  I can dream, but no I don't.  I just want to be able to dance the night away or go hiking with friends or even feel comfortable in public. 

So my rules for myself are simple:
1. No Facebook until I lose my first 50 pounds.
2. No electronics (unless needed for school) until I've been to the gym. 
3. I will be imposing a self-exile until I've lost the first 50 pounds.  So this means no more weekend nights at the club, no more dinner dates, no more movies with friends.  If you want to get a hold of me call me, text me, email me. 
4. At least an hour of physical activity a day.  I have a gym on campus and I have a membership at Defined.  I have no excuses, especially since a benefit at work is an hour a day three days a week on the clock work out time. 
5. I will make healthy, or at least in the beginning, healthier eating choices.  No more fast food, no more fried food, and no more sweets....well I'll cut back on those.

If you are following this I ask a few things of you:
1. If you see me ask me how the gym was, or hell even text or call me and ask me how the gym went.
2. If you know I'm still in my self-imposed exile, please don't make it hard by asking me to go out or telling me the fabulous times you've had without me.
3. Once I start going out again, help me make healthier choices.  I'm not asking for anyone to by my mother or father and order for me, but we all fall from time to time and we need help back up.

What I promise you:
1. I will try my hardest to succeed.
2. I don't think I can post every day, but I will post something often and I'll try to make it humorous or maybe leave a joke.
3. I promise that no matter what I won't disappear off the face of the earth in this process.

Wow, if you've read this far you must really care about me, either you want to see me fail and will relish my failures, or you want to see me succeed.  Either way thank you for your support.  And I hope that over the course of however long this lasts I will be able to make lasting changes and maybe even along the way I'll inspire someone to make changes in their lives.  With all that being said, I'm going to bed.  I have a big day ahead of me.